Fluoridation of our drinking water is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.

You can all blame Augie for the lack of a post recently. He's a filthy thief, and he's been hogging all the bandwidth for the last few days illegally downloading a television show, rendering the internet unbearably slow. Hey feds! Go after him! He's constantly thieving, and I can provide all the relevant personal details about his whereabouts, eating habits, social security number, and permanent address.

We did a record night at work tonight. $4587.67 net sales, almost exclusively in $5.00 large one-topping pizzas. It was pretty crazy. Everything ran fairly smoothly, though.

The header of this post is a quote from a really great movie. It's a lot easier than the last one. Gold star to the person who can name the movie and the character who says it. And by the way, it was a David Bowie song last time. Come on, people. Get on the ball.

I knew personally two people who died very recently, and they died in about as opposite ways as possible. The first was a co-worker. He was young--23 or so. He died of a drug overdose. So it goes. He's the first young person who died while I was still interacting with him on a daily basis. It's really strange--I can't say that I was terribly surprised or even terribly sad. He was a near-constant abuser of drugs, and it was obvious that he didn't place too much value on his own life. I guess that's the sad thing. He was a really sweet guy and a hard worker, though rarely a competent one. I hope that he is at peace now, given the chaos of his physical life. I can only imagine that his consciousness that survived is now able to recognize the fundamental immensity of his being.

The other person who died was in her mid-eighties, but really even older. So it goes. They knew she was going to die, it was just her time. Apparently she accepted the fact of her death with grace and died peacefully. That's the way to do it.

I am both excited and scared out of my mind about my own eventual demise, like most people, I think. Mostly I'm afraid that I'll leave some unfinished business, that I won't get done what I expect myself to get done here. I'm excited because I can barely wait to answer the unaswerable questions that I can barely rationally philosophize about here. Does it occur to anyone else that pending physical death is the one thing that we all have in common, but the last thing anyone ever wants to talk about? We'll wax on about pointless political debates and irresolvable moral differences but won't touch our own mortality with a ten-foot pole.

On a lighter note, the book of Deuteronomy says that a woman found not to be a virgin when married should be stoned to death by the townspeople (Deuteronomy, Ch. 22, verse 20-21). Same goes for rebellious children (Deuteronomy, Ch 21, verse 18-21). And apparently any wearing of such clothing as a polyester and cotton mix, or a cotton and wool sweater, or any such evil mixing of threads in one garment is right out, because god forbids it (Deuteronomy Ch 22, verse 11). (This is, of course, the classic argument put forth as to why god hates gay people--fags love those poly-cotton-silk blends.) And by the way: "If you are not careful to observe every word of the law which is written in this book, and to revere the glorious and awesome name of the lord, your god, he will smite (!) you and your descendants with severe and constant blows, malignant and lasting maladies." (Deuteronomy, Ch 28, verse 58-59.) I think I just changed my mind about the god-of-the-bible thing. First of all, smiting is always cool, and he's going to do the smiting with severe and constant blows! What a badass.

I can always count on some old testament proclamations to cheer me up. Deuteronomy is especially fun.

The horror of life is that a simple five-minute conversation with any random human being can sometimes be so profoundly absent of rational thought and completely void of meaning that you realize the fight against whatever it is I'm fighting is hopelessly out of reach. The beauty of life is that a simple five-minute conversation with any random human being can sometimes be so perfect that it reminds you what incredible, infinite power we have to overcome the forces in the world that would have you believe in your own insignificance. Smite this.

The time is fast approaching and I'm spending all my time writing philosophy papers and getting underpaid to run a pizza place. Watch as the years go flying by and the world comes to an end. The war is here. Communication is our only weapon.

Enough late night rambling! Maybe someday I'll do a real post again. Goodnight all.